ups n' downs

The other day I called my Aunt and when she picked up the phone I could immediately tell something was wrong with her. You know what I'm talking about? When within just a few minor seconds of hearing a loved ones voice you know something is wrong... So after discovering that she had to put her cat down, I realized where the pain in her voice was coming from. Now one may think, "um it's a cat?" but my Aunt is a HUGE animal lover, and this cat was very important to her. But this really isn't a blog about my Aunt's cat, it's what she said after that really gripped my heart. 

She started telling me how there was another cat that needed a home, but that she didn't want it. And her reasoning was because she didn't want to get close to anything else. She didn't want to love anything that would in turn love her back because it would be taken away from her. How horribly sad is that? Now being a psychology major and also knowing this is a common reaction when people lose something, I was inclined to ponder more about what she said. 

My heart broke for her. I know she has been through a lot in the past year or so but I have had a huge loss as well. Which made me think, why can some people cope with a loss and continue to love, but others shut down not wanting to love at all? I lost my mom and my Aunt lost her sister, which is more devastating than anyone will ever know. But even though I miss my mother terribly everyday I haven't stopped living or loving the people around me. I also chose to fall in love for the first time. So for my Aunt to never want any part of love is so sad. The whole conversation just really got to me, so later that night I was telling my dad about it. He gave me a great analogy that will probably stick with me for the rest of my life.

My dad was given this analogy by a patient of his, who was a heart surgeon. The man compared life to a heart monitor. When a person is living, the lines on the machines are moving up and down, but when a person is dead, the line is flat. I thought this was an excellent description of life. Because it's the ups and downs that keep us alive! We all go through great point in life like graduating school and starting a new beginning or falling in love for the first time, or getting married, or having a baby. But then we all have go through a rough spot, and no one is able to avoid it. Whether it's a job loss, or being badly effected by a recent economy, or divorce, or death of a loved one. It hurts and it can be hard to cope with. But those moments, good and bad, are what keep us alive. If you allow yourself to be so protected that you don't do anything, love anything, care for anything, then you're as good as dead, because your life line is flat. 

Don't be afraid to live. I struggle with worrying about losing the ones I love. Ever since my mom passed, I'm worried to lose someone else. But that doesn't stop me from loving. I'd rather love and embrace life's ups and downs, that never live or love at all. 

Think about it...